Sarah teaches in the classroom across the hall and we've been team teaching together for a few years so you can imagine the seamless duet we've mastered of being able to interact while still keeping the flow of a lesson intact. It would be like watching something happening on stage and the mechanics off stage all at the same time.
While delivering some fabulously engaging information on fractions I glided over to find out what was up, maintaining the attention of my audience the entire time without drawing attention to the discourse about to happen in the wings.
Sarah
whispering, teeth shut.
There's a squirrel in your classroom.
Princess Awesome
simultaneously delivering lesson, and speaking out the side of mouth
A what?
Sarah
still whispering
A squirrel. Over there beside your bookshelf
Princess Me
balking dramatically, loudly, lesson stopped, and turning slowly with hands - a- sweeping to stage opposite. Kids gape in amazement.
A Squirrel?!!!!! Surely I, Miss. Munroe, of all the teachers in the school would notice a squirrel -
Student A
stands and points
Sqwurr ellllllll!!!!!!!
Students break in to maheim, standing up shouting
Can we keep it? Can it be our class pet? Ms. Munroe - please, please,please?
Again Awesome Me
bracing my audience
Everybody sit down and remain calm.
We've got to get this squirrel safely out of here.
At this point my mind was racing wildly about what to do about this squirrel and my mouth was plotting with Sarah as we rushed to the other side of the room. Really an out of body experience. It was imperative we got there first, that is - before any of the kidlets could get up and decide to take charge. Meanwhile the precious baby squirrel was crawling up my bookcase to for a better view of the stage.
Sarah and I decided we would herd the squirrel along the wall towards the door and let it run into the courtyard from there. Like a team of nipping collies we managed to get that little red tail half way to the gates when Nathan (of course Nathan) got up from his desk for a closer look. Our little fuzz bucket did and about face and scurried into the nearest bookshelf.
Princess Patience
mustering it all, turning to Nathan
Nathan. You've got to sit down and stay there so we as a class can save this squirrel. This is your part in the rescue.
As I turned around to get back to the mission I could hear Nathan's track pants crinkle as he lifted his seat from his chair and leaned forward cirque de soleil style over his desk for a parascopic view.
Princess not so Patient
Turning sharply
Nathan! Sit Down!
I faced Sarah, sweating, wiping my brow, eyes scanning the resources before me. "We've got to come up with another plan". My eyes landed on my yellow star waste basket. It was perfect. It had star cut outs, so the squirrel could get air to breath and it was cheerful. A perfect little squirrel transport. "Here's the next plan. I'll hold the basket, you coax the squirrel in and then plug the top with the pillow from my reading center and then we'll run out together and then release the squirrel." "Perfect." I couldn't believe she agreed with this plan.
So there we were, like Lucy and Ethel, me with the basket and her with the pillow, just like we'd planned, rounded up this little squirrel and then in a synchronized trot made our way towards the door.
All of the sudden, little squirrel pops his head out of one of the star cut outs, looks left, then right and jumps right into the middle of the crowd of kids.
Again chaos breaks loose.
Kids
standing up, waving arms above heads
Squirrel! Squirrel!
And then the unthinkable and most probable thing happens. My world turns to slow motion. One of my students turns and points at the quietest ESL straight -off -the -boat kid in my class and yells in slow motion voice " Misssss Mun rowwwwww . . The Sqor -elll rannn uppp Esmundddd'ssss pannnnttsss!"
Miss. Munroe. The Squirrel ran up Esmund's pants. What just happened? Sure enough, there was Esmund, desperately looking at me, white of his eyes showing, chin tilted forward, body crouched grabbing the crotch of his pants.
Princess Remain Calm but Panic
Nobody move!
Kids stunned into obedience, nodding with immediate submission
Esmund you are the chosen one. The squirrel wants you to be its' hero. I'm going to count to three. We're going to clear a path and you are going to run into the courtyard.
**** Because what am I going to do - ask a 12 year old to pull down his pants and let the squirrel out in front of all his peers? I think not. *****
Think you can do that?
Esmund nodds shaking his head up and down and I know what he really wants is to be shaking it side to side
Okay - Sylvie. Carey. Jalex. Franco. Move your desks. Clear a path to the door for Esmund. Everyone, lets count together. 1... 2...
I look at Esmund like I'm about to verbally push him off a cliff
3!!!!!!
And off he went. Shuffuly- galloping his way in a hobble out the door, across the hall and out into the middle of courtyard with me close on his tail. Once we got out there he stopped and shuffly swivelled to me, still hanging onto that squirrel in his pants for dear life. His eyes pleading Now what?.
Princess I Can't Believe This is Actually Happening
You've gotta just let go and do a little dance.
I demonstrate.
Esmund takes a deep breath, releases his grip and shakes his hips like a dashboard hula doll. The squirrel runs up his pants, through his t-shirt and jumps out the neck hole, gazelling his way through the courtyard on his way to sweet freedom.
Princess I'm So Gonna Get Sued For This
Did he bite you?
Esmund shakes his head no.
Scratch?
Again a no shake.
Okay, tonight you're going to go home and tell your mom what happened and have a good bath. Got it?
We start walking back towards the classroom, me in the lead this time and Esmund shuffling behind and I try to fill in the silent space between with a what- can- you- possibly- say- in- this- situation, nervous pep talk. "Wow Esmund, you really saved the day for that squirrel. You were so brave. I just can't believe that that squirrel knew you were the only one who could get him to safety. You really demonstrated caring and.." - And then Esmund once again came to the rescue and ended my trivial babbling hip - hip - hooray by saying the only three words I ever heard him say ever. They are the three words I would ever want every learner to say who ever passes through my doors.
Esmund
That was fun.
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